The Aftermath

I went through the five days of training/interview with PTR. The experience was a bit different than what I had expected. We sat around a lot, did some scenario work, worked on "hard skills" (starting fires etc.), did some therapeutic type group work, and a bunch of twelve step stuff. My favorite part was the drum stock. We all set an intention or asked a question, wrote it on a blindfold and walked out alone into the forest. Once I was in the forest I put on my blindfold and waited for the drum beat to begin. The sound of the drum was my only way back. Walking through the woods not being able to see was a powerful experience, I had to touch into a slower, calm part of myself that was willing to go backwards, crawl on my belly and do tai chi as I walked. The rest of the time out there was alright but I'm realizing that it may not have been what I was looking for. I was anxious quite a bit because I felt like I was being tested rather than trained. Many of the people in our group were already in recovery and had the process of AA down pat. The interview on day five was a bit disheartening for me. It doesn't look like I'm going to be getting the job because of the low intake of students, my lack of AA knowledge and also because I'm a bit of a beginner when it comes to Utah's backcountry and the hard skills involved. Now I begin my search for work somewhere else. I'll be keeping this site updated and you can post questions or comments on here if you want to.
I'm feeling a little anxious because I was attached to my plan! Things will work out regardless...I'm praying about it. I have another training that starts on June 2nd, it goes for 2 weeks and I'm going to look into the likelihood of that working out. It's kinda crazy that these places want you to train for 5 days or 2 weeks and then not give you a job!
Sending big hugs to everyone!